The Art of Snow Removal

Congratulations, Winter 2010-11, you have blessed students all over the country with an unprecedented TWO snow days in a row. And not just once, it feels as if there has been at least one snow day a week since the "spring" semester started. In December, my job had its first snow day in the history of the organization...the second one was today. Ironically, yesterday was the day with the frozen precipitation. Today, Route 95 was cluttered with canoes as commuters paddled their way to work through the fast-melting grey ice.

Neighbors

There is no sport quite like people-watching, particularly post-blizzard. Through my totally-not-sketchy-at-all window observation, I've learned:
     1. Some neighbors will help you shovel
     2. Some spend the day demonstrating their power over the block with their plow-equipped Ford F150.
     3. Some mark off a parking spot on the street for weeks, despite their possession of a coveted two-car driveway (and that the law states that a street parking spot can be marked off for only a day after a snowstorm)
     4. Some will shovel out their car at the expense of the car behind it, which is now buried under 3 ft of snow, rather than a foot and a half.


Lastly, for those neighbors privileged enough to own a snow blower, there is a short list of guidelines that are to be followed, if you want to be nominated for one of my Good Neighbor Awards:

Neighborly Snow Blower Etiquette

     1. Please do not snow-blow between the hours of 10pm and 8am. Imagine waking up at 6am to someone vacuuming your face. That is what this is like.
     2. When you are snow-blowing and your next-door neighbor is shoveling like a madman, trying to get to work on time, it is common courtesy to offer to do their sidewalk (Neighborly duty doubles if shoveler is female, and triples if shoveler is elderly). See following equation for details: 1 snow blower + 47 seconds ≥ 20 minutes+shoveling(unnecessary back pain)²
     3. Don't let your kids use the snow blower (See: more shoveling for the neighbors)
     4. Please blow snow onto your own property...and not onto my sidewalk & behind my car while I'm trying to shovel it out. I'm taking you off of my Christmas Card list.
     5. And finally...don't let the dog play outside while the snow blower is running. This usually results in having to buy a new snow blower...and a new dog.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must paddle home before someone steals my parking spot.